I am tired….
Of entering all these restaurants alone, chatting with the waiter for much time as I can, craving for companionship more than any food.
Of watching my favorite movies in an empty room with a pillow between my arms. wishing if I have someone to share this piece of cake with him.
I am afraid of week ends
Tired of spending them working just to forget how lonely I am.
In my several jobs, breaks exhaust me and long vacations scare me.
I hate it when I open my phonebook, searching among name for somebody who I may call, just to hear another human voice besides mine, the I realize that whom I need to speak with is not on my list
I hate my untouched body, unfulfilled heart, and my mind that refuses to go to sleep
I am tired of saving the last drop in my perfume to a day I don’t expect
I am trying to be perfect for some one I didn’t even meet yet
why cant what i have satisfy me any more?
I need simple things
Like basic needs of any human being
Of any creature
I need companionship, intimacy and safety
Days go
My life is fading
And I am still waiting
Praying
Trying not to lose a hope that does not even exist
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Alone
Posted by Bipolar-Girl at 9:27 PM
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6 comments:
perfect Nancy. I share you all these feelings....
have a nice day
Hancy, no creas que estás sola en tus sentimientos... Lo que tú sientes y dices es lo que tenemos que sentir las mujeres árabes antes de casarnos, debatirnos entre la ilusión de conservar un vestido, un perfume para una persona que no llega y entre la tristeza de la larga espera.... Pero lo que tú no sabes y te lo cuento -a lo mejor es algo muy subjetivo-: toda esta energía y esperanzas de felicidad ahorradas se romperán ante la roca de la realidad después del matrimonio, y no ataco el matrimonio, sino los hombres, bueno tampoco los hombres, sino la naturaleza masculina, ellos no ven las cosas como nosotras, a lo mejor te echas este perfume del que hablabas y ni siquiera se da cuenta de tu olor... lo que quiero decirte es que son sueños que se alimentan con la esperanza y se ponen grandes en nuestro interior, pero que la realidad no es así desafortunadamente... Lo que te aconsejo es que disfrutes del momento, de la libertad que tienes, no pienses en la soledad, busca refugio en tu gente y tus amigos, pero trata de disfrutar de todo lo que puedas aprender y no esperes el príncipe azul que va a romper la soledad, porque éste es un MITO
i like very much what you write here, it is hard to translate human feelings and thoughts to words that make sense.
i suggest you listen to these pieces of music (if you have a peer to peer file sharing program, you can download them from the internet)
1. Going To California - Never The Bride (originally by led zepplin but the version by Never The Bride is much better)
i will be a queen and i'll find a king,
who plays guitar and cries and sings... la la la
Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn
Tryin' to find a lover who's never, never been born.
Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams,
Telling myself it's not as hard, as it seems
2. nocturne by secret garden
Now let the day
Just slip away
So the dark night
May watch over you
Nocturne
Though darkness lay
It will give way
When the dark night
Delivers the day
i'm sure the music will touch your soul in a way very hard to describe.
in case i didn't come across your blog again; Have a nice life
the eternal human cry...
the eternal human cry...
the eternal human cry...
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